Bowl-o-Rama
November 30

[Sound files are now working.  Download to your heart's content.]

I went bowling yesterday at the city's failing entertainment center Neonopolis.  Now, I've gone bowling plenty of times and haven't bothered to mention it here, but this place warrants mentioning.  We all know about night bowling with it's black lights, disco balls, and multi colored spotlights.  This place (Jullians if I remember correctly) is night bowling day round.  At the end of the lanes, instead of your traditional bowling mural, is something you'd expect to see at a rave, with swirling shapes, colors, and Chinese kanji.  Instead of your traditional bowling ally seats, you had couches.  Leopard-print carpet lined the booths and neon lights lined each lane.  Even the bowling ball themselves went beyond your standard neon varieties.  While I used a green shamrock ball, the folks in the next lane were using ones with billiard ball prints and pulsating lights.

Beyond the kitsch factor of the establishment, the bowling itself was...lacking, shall we say.  Bumpers rose and retreated to the whims of each individual bowler.  By my accounts, the lanes were 75% thinner than regulation, as well as a good 40% shy of normal length.  My throw was so off I ended up scoring a 98.

So basically, you had a scaled-down, prettied up, customized,  glamorized version of something you can get almost everywhere else.  In short, it's quintessential Las Vegas.

I also saw Treasure Planet.  It got space pirates.

Stuffing Day
November 28

Tryptophan, in evolutionary terms and otherwise, doesn't make much sense.  I mean, what could prompt the development of a chemical in an animal's flesh that makes the consumer of said meat the slightest bit more tired?  Were the turkeys hoping that once the wolf had dozed off, fellow turkeys would come and peck it to death?

Yes, Thanksgiving was indeed enjoyable.  This was the first time in a while that we didn't have any extended family over, which was nice in certain aspects.  Thanksgiving dinner here, and I'm supposing in many other places, serves not really as a meal per se, but more of a groundwork for the next two weeks of food.  Half of this stuff tastes better a few days afterwards anyway.  Turkey soup, here I come!

KOLT FM 105.7
November 26

If there's one thing wrong with the internet (besides the fact that two thirds of it is porno) it's that the people you see on it are limited to the written word.  Now, in one sense, that's a good thing.  It's nice to know there's still a place in the world that's an expedition for writing.  Still, how much more would you enjoy Mac Hall if you could hear Ian or Matt talk about each comic?  I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but that's not going to stop me from doing this.

Effective now (Note from the future: actually, effective  November 30th), all further Or Lack Thereof posts will be accompanied by an audio file of me reading the post.  However, this will only apply to newsposts on the .  The envy.nu user agreement prevents me from "stockpiling" sounds on the site, so I figure 15 or so at a time shouldn't hurt.  Each one will only exist on the site for the amount of time it's newspost is on the front page.  After that it's stored on my hard drive.  If you really want to hear the sound file for a certain newspost, feel free to e-mail me and I'll go ahead and send it.

I realize there's a certain amount of redundancy in creating a newspost and audio file telling you I'm going to start doing them, but I just wanted to make it official. 

Killing is bad
November 21

Riddle me thus: Is there anything wrong with living your life in such a manner that would result in the fewest number of deaths? Metroid remains unplayed.

Fake ID
November 19

The weather in Southern Nevada has been pleasantly cool for the last month or so.  I actually require sheets for when I go to bed now.

Today marks the second appearance of my name in the Las Vegas Review Journal, as well the first printing of my photograph in a major publication, in color no less.  The paper has a section written by high school students that addresses teen-age issues.  The "front page" story for this issue involved fake IDs, and was accompanied by those little quote/picture poll boxes that you see so often in newspapers.  The question itself was "What would you do if you had a fake ID?"  Most of the responses were along the lines of  "Get a tattoo," "Go out dancing," and "Go to a strip club." I however, in an effort to entrench myself deeper into the category of "Big Nerd," responded thusly:

I'm sarcastic and earnest at the same time.  Score!

On an additional note, I am now the proud owner of Metroid Prime.  That being so, the game is still unopened, unplayed, and stored in my friend's house four miles away.  Then again, if he has it right now, I doubt the first two points are still applicable.  I myself certainly wouldn't blame him for taking Samus for a spin.

Cube Clubs
November 17

Yesterday I went to one of them Cube Clubs.  I can honestly say it was the best Nintendo sponsored night club-ish establishment I have ever been to in my life.  I'll just run a list of games I played there.

Metroid: They're not kidding you when they say this isn't a first person shooter.  Sure you're seeing things from a first person perspective, but it feels exactly like controlling from a third person perspective. I don't know how they did it.  In any case, once you figure out the controls, you'll be shooting, rolling, and scanning with ease.  A note about scanning: there's so much to scan it's overwhelming.  I completed the demo in 16:11.  The guy in front of me took half and hour, and he only scanned probably 60% of what was available. I can't tell you how cathartic it is to roll as a ball at high-speeds through a tunnel of debris, pop up, shoot a door, and casually stroll through.  The art direction is stunning, overflowing with ambiance and mood.  A particularly neat effect is the fact that space seems to bend out of the way of a fully charged blaster shot. The second I completed the demo I was left hungry for more.  Thank goodness I played this now, a day before release, instead of at E3.  I would have died of anticipation.

Zelda: It's Zelda, but cartoony.  There's really all there is to it.  Personally, I love the new style.  The design is wonderful, with sharp angles, contrasting deep and bright colors, and swirling lines.  The control is similar to the 64 Zeldas, though refined and varied a bit.   Having two action buttons helps mix things up a bit. I wasn't able to do any of those "jump over the guy's head and hit him on the way down" moves, but that could either be the fact that they weren't implemented in the demo, or they're harder than people seem to believe they are. Stealth seems to play a bigger part in this game, a fact that pleases me immensely.  Link's expressions add a lot to the the ambience of the game as he gapes, eyes wide open while flailing his sword around.  Flattening against a wall will make Link suspiciously peer around him.  He'll actually look in the direction you point before moving that way.  The expressions in one cut scene actually make me laugh out loud.  It all boils down to this: It was at the top of my wish list, and that's where it's staying.

1080: This pretty much what Blue Storm was to Wave Race 64.  That is, if you've never played the original 64 game, by all means, buy this one.  If you owned the original and want more of the same action, go ahead and buy what appears to be a worthy successor.  I suppose I would fall into that second category, but old uncle pocketbook looks like it's going to prevent the purchase.

Link to the Past/Four Swords:  It's already got the fact that it's one of the greatest video games of all time going for it, but now there's this new Gauntlet-like multi-player deal going on. With new sprites and everything!  I'm sure Nintendo contemplated the idea of using the new sprite for LttP, but I think they realized the structure damage caused by angry mobs would be counter productive.

Metroid Fusion: Having never played Super Metriod kind of puts me at a disadvantage when describing the game, but what the heck. I only played for something like 7 minutes, but I can definitely say I'm going to purchase this.  The glowing reviews (and GameCube connectivity) really are going to be the largest contributing factor, but the fact that what I played had solid animation, controls, and what appeared to be a story certainly didn't hurt.

Mario Party: I only mention this because I entered a competition and won a prize.  I laid the smack-down on rally racing, skiing, and some other game that eludes me at the moment. I got a GameCube 24-Disc carrying case, which seems kind of pointless seeing as the original DVD cases are the most logical containers for the games. Maybe it'll become useful on a trip or something.

NBA 2K3: I only mention this because I challenged some guy to a game and lost so pitifully (It was the game I tells ya! The game!) as to incur the sympathy of an attendant who gave me a light-up fan.  Look at the pretty patterns!

The USBSEL
November 13

Languages need governing bodies. Maybe not for an entire language, but at least for that language in individual countries.  The United States Bureau for the Standardization of the English Language, or something like that.

The reason I say this is that I really think there should be some sort of unisex pronoun that you could use instead of writing out "he or she" all the time.  Sure you can use "their," but that can only take you so far.  We could use something along the lines of "ble" or "che."  The way, you could say "Once someone pulls the sword out of the stone, che will be the ruler of all England" instead of "Once someone pulls the sword out of the stone, he or she will be the ruler of all England."

I want to write a letter to someone, but as I have said, there is no where to write to.

Nice Jumping
November 11

The Master of the Flying Guillotine is coming to American DVDs.

My existence is shook to its very core.

Hear you, hear you...
November 4

Let it be known that I, Johnny Driggs, became the first person ever to wear his jacket with his arms through the slits below the underarms on November Forth, Two-Thousand and Two.

In the event that this method of dressing becomes a national craze all due credit shall be directed towards me.

Thank you.

All Hallows
November 1

If Halloween is "All Hallows Eve" today must be "All Hallows Day," so a happy one of those to you.

Halloween was Halloweenish for me.  I got dressed up, went trick or treating with my little brothers, and went to a party.  I suppose it could have been called a Halloween party, seeing as it was held on Halloween, except for the fact that I was the only person dressed up.  Add to that the fact that I was dressed up as Pat McShayne from Stubble, and it would appear to any passersby that I actually dressed like that.  Oh well.

In case you were wondering, here's me, and please note that the purple hair is not mine.